These are pics of my youngest daughter taken a few months ago -
Notice the glorious curls! I am not ashamed to admit I adored those curls! We even had a name for her hair - Crazy MoMo Hair. The curls were perfect and lovely and needed not a speck of attention. People stopped us almost daily to exclaim over her hair. Also notice my use of the past tense. Because there was "An Incident". After "The Incident" we had this-
"The Incident" involved her big sister with a pair of tiny scissors from my knitting kit and a request from MoMo. My reaction? Well, lets just say the neighbors probably thought someone had died or something equally horrible had happened when they heard my scream.
"The Incident" was traumatic for me (much more so than for MoMo).
Of my 5 children, only one had curls like I had when I was little. When my curls were cut by a friend playing Beauty Shop, they never returned. My hair is wavy and full, it even curls a bit when it is long with coaxing, but it never again was curly. I pretty much resigned myself to the idea that my MoMo's curls were gone for good.
Fast forward to this morning, I gave the kids a bath. Usually hubby does baths in the evening and brushes their hair after, but the kids were up late last night watching Alladin, so I did the bath this morning. They were brushing their teeth and I was getting ready to brush their hair and I noticed this -
THEY'RE COMING BACK!!!!! (insert me doing a dance of joy, here)
I feel a little guilty for being so attached to these curly locks. I can't help it. I love 'em.
Apparently when Jeff brushes her hair after the bath he has been straightening the curls. No more brushes allowed!
I realized that it pointed to a lot of the things that were still holding me back from blogging. Mostly things that are up to me to change or just not worry about.I really would love to have a sweet blog and a few readers. I have ideas, really I do! But I never seem to be able to create time to blog on a regular basis. Why? You may ask, well, here is what I have come up with-My excuses why I am a failure at blogging-1. I do not wear a camera around my neck 24 hours a day, nor do I have an area of my home set aside for perfectly lit photos. Apparently lots of beautiful photos of every moment of my blissfully creative and beautiful days is a prerequisite for blogging. (Ok, there is so much contrary to my life in that last sentence it is laughable)2. I have active inquisitive children who have a passion for pushing the envelope and on frequent occasion, ripping the darn thing to shreds whenever the occasion (ie: mom’s not watching!) presents itself.3. I am not perfect. I am incredibly imperfect, and not in a quirky bohemian way that makes people smile, but in a my kids watch too much tv, eat too much fast food, talk loudly in church and I end up yelling more than I should and my house is a cluttered mess of toys, dirty dishes, scattered shoes and laundry begging to be put away kind of way. (yes, clean and folded clothes, you are my nemesis…) Mrs. Cleaver I am not.4. I do not crank out gorgeous handmaid items with blinding speed and astonishing creativity. I look a lot, too much in fact. I start a few. I finish even fewer. I forget to take photos along the way. Add that to I am slow and a perfectionist. = Not a lot to show.5. I am tired – a lot. My 1 year old does not sleep through the night. My 3year old’s nap does not coincide with her baby brother’s naps. My 5 year old is vehemently opposed to napping. My husband works crazy hours. I have a teenager who thinks 10pm is tragically early to go to bed.So, that’s about the size of it. I’m sure I will think up more excuses. Maybe someday I will actually have a blog people will read, but most likely not.
I also realized that the voice in the posts sounded much more like me. I was not writing for anyone else (since my blog had no readers) so it was just written from the heart - to me, from me.
The comment I received, the one that headed me in this new direction, was from the very amazing, lovely, and incredibly wise Gina, who is the creative and talented woman behind the awesome blog, Hiya Luv .
She said~
hang in there luv. blogging takes time. don’t put pressure on yourself-I did that at first and it was a major fail for me. Let topics flow. If you are experiencing something with your child-good or challenging-could you blog about it? probably. do you have adorable pics of your family-probably. start off with a post or two like that. something you find joy in. Then visit other blogs-comment and keep going back to comment. Get engaged and people will visit you-keep writing. It will come…:)ginaMan, she was so right.
For some reason I thought having a focus would help me with blogging. I thought "My favorite blogs are craft blogs. I love to craft! I'll have a craft blog!" And so I went about creating what I thought would be a craft blog. But then I felt pressured to do it. To craft. And I am one of those ornery types who just HATES to feel pressured to do things. I will dig in my heels and resist doing it. So I was not feeling inspired or excited. I was just getting cranky with my lack of progress.
So here goes.
This is a blog about stuff I love.
Some of it will be really cool (I promise) some of it will be funny, some of it will be just for me.
You can read it. or not.
It doesn't really matter.
It's for me.
(though friends are nice!)
P.S. Thanks Gina! You are amazing! And wise - very, very wise.